The one with all the letters

Dear bug guy,

Thanks for fucking up my schedule by coming in 2 weeks after you were supposed to be here originally...and waaay too early!  Thanks also, for getting annoyed because you had to come back in 5 minutes so I could put some clothes on.  I hope you had a great day because I'm tired and cranky and annoyed...so one of us had better have one!

Dear idiot-1 on oDesk,

Thanks for deleting your thread before I had a chance to screenshot it to save for a rainy day when I need a laugh.  The world doesn't revolve around you just because you're an American.  THIS is why other countries hate us.  You join a site, don't do a damn thing for a whole day, bitch about it because no one wants to hire you, then go on to spew your oDesk-should-follow-US-minimum-wage-laws rhetoric because you've been there exactly one day.  Learn to read, because you obviously missed the part in the ToS about you being an independent contractor and not an employee - so you don't get employee benefits like minimum wages, asshole.

Dear lazy white trash neighbor(s),

I don't know which apartment you live in...but one of these days, when you're leaving your smelly garbage in the junk-mail trash can next to the mail boxes, I'll find a piece of mail in your trash.  When I do, I'm dumping my cat's litterbox into it and setting it in front of your door...open.

Dear idiot-2 on oDesk,

You honestly think it's not your fault you can't get a job when your entire profile is completely blank?  No overview, no resume, no portfolio, nada.  So now you want people to tell you what's wrong with your profile?  Really?  Will you be not-dumb just long enough to understand when they tell you YOUR FUCKING PROFILE IS BLANK???  Didn't think so.

Dear The Mr.,

In case you ever forget...on Halloween 2008, we went to a shitty bar 50 miles away in Garland.